Like Cats and Dogs?
Rufus snuggled up to Minerva; she gazed at him askance, decided he meant no harm, and turned her attention back to the kitchen.
What’s it about this time? Rufus whimpered.
Minerva gave him a disinterested yawn.
It was always about something. Yesterday it was about him not clearing the dishwasher. The day before, she’d thrown away his napkin. He snored, she scraped her teeth on her fork.
Rufus and Minerva cuddled on the couch, though his panting was annoying her. In the kitchen, they would soon hurl insults at each other.
Minerva felt sleepy, but endeavored to stay awake and alert in these crucial times, lest a missile startled her.
Rufus wanted to play and nudged Minerva. Finally she conceded and pretended to swat at his long drooping ears. He nipped at her, never meaning to hurt.
“Fuck you, asshole!”
Uh-oh, the gloves were off in the kitchen; Rufus and Minerva paused their game, four eyes intent on the scene before them.
“No, fuck you, you bitch!”
“Who is she?”
“The fuck I’ll tell you!”
A bang shook the table. The plates upon it rattled.
Rufus whimpered; Minerva mewed. They gazed at one another and he nuzzled his snout against her calico cheek. Minerva returned the gesture, rolled onto her back, and playing, pawed at his long basset hound ears. Rufus panted.
“The fuck you snooping in my phone!”
“Who is she?”
Plates rattled. A chair scraped the floor. A cabinet door opened.
Minerva rolled herself onto her paws and squatted. She let out a soft growl. Rufus stood on the couch, his chubby legs ready to run. They stared ahead, Minerva’s ears pulled back.
“Fuck off, witch! Stop snoopin’ in my damn phone!”
“Then answer the fucking question, idiot!”
He stood up and slammed his fist on the table.
Rufus and Minerva watched the fight, damned if the customary torpedos caught them unawares again.
The flying cup hit him right on the chest.
Rufus barked and Minerva meowed, but they might have been pictures on the wall for all the good it did. Another cup followed; he ducked.
“Don’t you dare dodge, you wuss!”
A saucer shattered against the wall.
Rufus and Minerva slid off the couch and sauntered towards the bay window that looked out onto the street. She leaped up on the seat while Rufus, resting his short legs on it, pulled himself up beside her. The window’s distance from the kitchen kept them safe from the flying objects. Minerva loved to chatter at birds flitting on the tree branches by the window, and Rufus barked at anything that walked past the house.
Something thudded on the couch; a chipped plate landed where the cat and dog had sat moments before.